Business Ownership and Management
The Strangest Feedback I Ever Received
My first job after my consulting company shut down was building a consulting organization for a spinoff database company. The CEO called me the week before, then invited me to meet him in Manhattan the following week. We met for a few hours, then he handed me a piece of paper with a title and salary. I thought about it for a minute, shook his hand, and said, “Thanks, boss.” We devoted the next few days developing a vision for the team that would boost sales and drive greater customer success.
We worked closely for the next six months, but there were times I could tell that I frustrated him. For example, we once met with a top 3 credit card company. They presented their needs, and he told them we could easily handle it.
On the way back to the hotel, I explained the architectural limitations that would make the project very challenging. Then I presented multiple ideas to accomplish what they needed – just not in the way they envisioned it. My focus was on creating a deal that worked, and not just closing a deal that could ultimately hurt our reputation.
A year or so later, I was on a multi-city road trip to visit customers and prospects with each member of the sales team. It was a Thursday afternoon; I had just arrived at a hotel in San Diego where I’d stayed dozens of times over eight years, and I was relaxed and feeling great.
The CEO called, telling me that one of the architects he hired had just given his notice, and asked me if I thought we should try to get him to stay. I explained that this person was extremely talented and worked well with everyone, but he wasn’t working on the things he was hired to do and had been noticeably unhappy for the past several months. I asked if we planned to revive the project this person helped develop, and the answer was ‘no’.
I went on to explain that while this guy was a great person and technical asset, he wasn’t a good fit for the company now or where it was heading, which is why I recommended letting him go. I said we could use his salary to hire one or two people interested in our current direction and get a better return on that investment.
To me, this was a logical decision, and not an emotional one. Most companies have limited resources, and to win, you need to find the greatest leverage for every dollar spent.
His response was, “The thing I love about you is also the thing that I sometimes hate about you.”
There was a brief pause of silence, then I replied, “OK, I’ll bite. What is that?” He said that, unlike everyone else who reported to him, I told him what he needed to hear instead of what he wanted to hear. He told me that he valued my perspective, which was why he called, but it was often frustrating for him to be told something contrary to his beliefs.
This candid conversation didn’t damage our relationship, and it reinforced a core truth about leadership: loyalty demands clarity first, then compliance.
Safe leaders surround themselves with “yes-men” to protect their egos. Exceptional leaders seek out individuals who care enough about the mission and its success to risk temporary friction. This is about doing the right thing, versus who is right.
Leaders should create an environment where all opinions and data are welcomed during the planning phase. Disagreement isn’t disrespect; it is a risk-mitigation strategy. This is where clearly articulating your concerns persuasively helps. True alignment sometimes requires strong debate behind closed doors to find the right path, and then executing the final decision as a unified team.
So, do you have the courage to provide the truth – even if it is unpopular? Can you do so in a convincing and professional manner? They might hate it in the moment, but they will value your integrity in the end, especially if you are seen as someone focused on improvement and success, and not just a contrarian.
Playing to Win, versus Playing Not to Lose
Life is funny. There are always ways to justify nearly anything you want (or don’t want) to do. For example, “The timing is not right” (“We’re not ready,” “The market will be better soon,” “We need to save more,” “We need to staff up first,” etc.) Justifications often include things like “We had a bad experience once” or “We are a very conservative organization” – comments that tend to lean towards risk aversion or a lack of confidence.
I’ve seen this in my own business after a large investment failed to yield the desired results, when I was a regional sales and services leader at a “growth-oriented” software company, and as a consultant. The root cause always varies, but the net effect is that those companies play it safe.
Why is that a problem? It may not be. Being content may not be a bad thing. Sometimes the status quo is enough. Having a reliable schedule, manageable stress levels, sufficient funds, and doing something you like with people you like may be the goal. But not everyone is built that way.
Growth usually means stepping out of your comfort zone, taking on risk, recognizing the need to adapt to stay ahead of the curve, and being OK with uncertainty. It means bringing on people with different backgrounds, skill sets, and perspectives than yourself. It can be very hard – especially if you are used to being in control and having the answers.
For me, the solution was twofold.
- We had to accept failure as an inevitable outcome. I believe this is where a lot of people stop. If you view failure as negative, then everything that stems from it (loss of money, a hit to your ego, and other setbacks) becomes your focal point. Lesson Learned: When you view it as a learning and self-improvement opportunity (“cognitive reframing”), it just becomes part of the cost of getting better.
From your team’s perspective, if everyone is as focused on the journey as you are on the outcome, people tend to view challenges logically rather than emotionally (thereby controlling fear). Success truly is a mental game. - We developed a structured approach for future investments (read more about it here). We treated each new venture like a project. It was focused, analytical, and unemotional. With this approach, speculative investments became easier each time. It’s amazing how that distance also helps switch the focus from risk to reward.
This understanding led to a presentation I gave that helped relaunch a company, helped several clients critically assess the risks and rewards of their plans, and may help someone consider whether they are focused on winning or simply on not losing.
As Richard Branson wrote in his book, Screw It, Let’s Do It: Lessons in Life, “If you opt for a safe life, you will never know what it’s like to win.” So, are you ready to play to win?
Curiosity-Led Execution
Most organizations don’t struggle because they lack solutions—they struggle because they misdiagnose problems. A structured, curiosity-led approach accelerates alignment, reduces rework, and leads to solutions that actually stick.
My Starting Point
I was not a fan of consultants when I first started working with them. Most were arrogant, had limited focus, and viewed problems or goals in isolation. I later learned that the same could be said for salespeople, executives, and more. It had less to do with the role and more to do with how people presented themselves as experts.
Switching to consulting was a tough sell. When I finally accepted a position, I expected to learn proven methodologies from seasoned experts. The lessons I learned weren’t always what I had expected.
Many of the senior consultants I worked with had been highly successful early in their careers. But over time, that success calcified into rigid frameworks and default approaches. They weren’t completely wrong—but they weren’t adaptable or as effective as they could have been, either.
It reminded me of the old metaphor: “If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
At one point, I seriously questioned whether consulting was the right fit for me.
Then I stepped back and looked at the best consultants I had worked with—the ones clients trusted and consistently delivered outcomes. I asked a simple question:
What do they do differently?
The answer wasn’t just expertise. It was curiosity, combined with the desire to deliver a positive experience and tangible outcomes.
From Depth to Insight
Early in my career, I went deep—sometimes excessively so.
I read dozens of manuals for a relational database system, cover to cover, just to understand how it worked. Then I spent years traveling, reviewing its source code at night, trying to understand why it worked the way it did. That understanding led to new ways of optimizing performance.
That effort paid off. I became recognized as an expert for that product, which opened the door to many challenging and exciting consulting engagements.
But it also revealed a limitation: Depth alone doesn’t scale.
What scaled was the mindset that I developed with it:
- Looking beyond surface-level symptoms.
- Viewing problems from a systemic perspective. Understanding how systems interact (not just how they function).
- Asking how and why decisions were made, not just what decisions were made.
I learned to read between the lines—technically and organizationally. To understand not just systems, but the people and processes behind them.
That context is powerful, but difficult to extract—especially quickly.
The Breakthrough: Structured Curiosity
What ultimately worked wasn’t just knowledge. It was a repeatable approach built on three elements:
- Establish credibility
Demonstrate enough expertise early to build confidence. - Lead with curiosity
Ask thoughtful, relevant questions that show genuine interest—not interrogation. - Close the loop
Articulate your understanding back to stakeholders to confirm, refine, or challenge it.
This creates a feedback loop:
Curiosity → Insight → Validation → Alignment
That loop is where trust—and progress—happens.
A Practical Tactic: The “Columbo Technique”
One of the most effective tools I’ve used is commonly called the Columbo Technique.
The idea is simple: Lower defenses by creating psychological safety—and a sense of control.
Instead of pushing for answers, you:
- Ask informed questions
- Make partial observations
- Then, intentionally leave a gap
Something like:
“I might be missing something, but I’m not fully connecting how X impacts Y…”
This does two things:
- Signals humility (reducing resistance)
- Invites correction (which reveals deeper truth)
People tend to open up—not because they’re forced to, but because they want to contribute. They feel safe because you are focused on understanding the situation and solving the problem, and not pointing fingers or assigning blame.
And once that happens, you get access to what actually matters: the “why” behind the “what.”
Applying This in the Real World
This approach works across consulting, sales, and leadership—but only if you apply it deliberately.
Here’s how to operationalize it:
1. Start Broad Before Going Deep
Don’t jump to solutions. Map the landscape first:
- Stakeholders
- Systems
- Constraints
- History
2. Use Their Language
Mirror terminology and examples. It builds alignment faster than forcing your own framework.
3. Validate Early and Often
Don’t wait until the end to present conclusions. Share evolving understanding:
- “Here’s what I think I’m seeing…”
- “Does this match your experience?”
- “Can you help me identify reasons why this might not work?”
4. Balance Confidence with Curiosity
Too much confidence shuts people down.
Too much curiosity erodes credibility.
The balance is where influence lives.
5. Optimize for Adoption, Not Perfection
The best solution is the one that gets implemented and sustained—not the one that looks best on paper.
A great example of this is at a large insurance company, where I led a successful 18-month redesign and implementation of a common Risk Management System used across three distinct businesses.
Before I came, they spent two years and several million dollars with a Big 5 Consulting company. The output was several 3” binders filled with specifications, definitions, and design documents. It was amazing, but wasn’t implementable. I have seen that far too often on consulting engagements.
A section in the middle of this post describes what happened with that project.
Make It Repeatable with the CLEAR Framework
This is a simple, reusable model that can help anyone new to a company or role.
The C.L.E.A.R. Framework
C — Credibility
- Establish baseline trust quickly.
- Demonstrate you “speak their language.”
L — Learn
- Map systems, stakeholders, constraints, and history.
- Ask high-quality, layered questions.
E — Expose
- Surface gaps, contradictions, hidden dependencies.
- Use techniques like the “Columbo Method.”
A — Align
- Play back understanding.
- Build shared clarity before prescribing.
R — Recommend
- Deliver solutions optimized for adoption and results, not elegance alone.
Why This Matters
Knowledge explains. Curiosity transforms. When you lead with curiosity, you move faster—not slower.
You avoid rework.
You uncover hidden constraints early.
You gain stakeholder alignment before decisions are locked in.
And occasionally, you can help solve problems that have existed for years—in a matter of weeks—because you’re solving the right problem.
If this sounds interesting and you would like to discuss it further or seek out assistance, contact me here.
Is Your Sales Team Killing Deals in the First 30 Seconds?
How many times has a stranger called you or filled your inbox with a message that starts with their name and a generic company intro? Did it make you want to pay attention, or did you immediately hit “delete”?
For executives overseeing high-stakes enterprise sales, this isn’t just an annoyance—it’s a performance barrier. If your team is stuck in a “Me and We” mentality, they are burning valuable leads before discovery even begins.
The Problem: You Can’t Win if You Don’t Get to Play
Most sales and marketing teams default to talking about themselves. They lead with their history and their product features. In enterprise sales, this is a fatal error.
Unless you are a dominant market leader, your prospects don’t care who you are or where you work; they care what you can do for them. Every second spent on your “About Us” slide is a second lost in identifying the prospect’s pain points.
The Cost of Misaligned Messaging
When your team uses “me-focused” messaging, the consequences are immediate:
· Low Engagement: Cold calls and emails are ignored because they lack immediate relevance.
· Stalled Demos: Prospects tune out during the “logo slide,” reducing the probability of real engagement and follow-on from this point on.
· Failed Discovery: Without quickly developing rapport and a focus on the prospect’s specific business and terminology, your team will never uncover the deep-seated issues required to close a complex deal.
The Solution: Use a “Prospect-First” Framework
To fix your pipeline performance, your team needs to pivot to a PIE-based approach that leverages your perspectives, insights, and expertise to prioritize the prospect’s desired outcomes. Help them visualize that better outcome, using their terminology and scenarios, with your solution.
1. Establish Immediate Rapport
Before the call, find a “hook”—a shared hobby, a mutual connection, or a specific business challenge they’ve mentioned in forums or job postings. Connection builds the rapport necessary for a successful discovery.
2. Lead with PIE (Perspective, Insight, Experience)
Instead of introducing your company, lead with the problems you solve. Help them answer the “why you?” question by demonstrating expertise and a proven solution.
· The Shift: Instead of saying “We are the leading Kubernetes platform,” try: “About half of the executives I meet are concerned about unplanned outages, spiraling costs, and security exposure. Have these been concerns for you?”
· The Result: This adds instant credibility without making the conversation about you. It forces the prospect to engage with their own problems if they are truly interested in finding a solution. If not, you both agree there is no fit right now and move on.
3. Skip the Ego, Show the Success
In your next demo, skip the logo page and the multiple feature pages. Move directly to a relevant customer case study from a similar industry. Discuss their specific issues and the measurable outcomes that must be achieved. This makes your solution relatable and positions your team as experts who can help, rather than just another vendor. Build rapport and earn that next meeting.
Audit your team’s outreach today. Are they leading with “We” or with “You”? If your messaging needs a strategic overhaul to better reach your future customers, contact me here. Let’s turn your sales messaging into a competitive advantage.
How is your team changing its approach to meet today’s better-informed yet more skeptical enterprise buyers? Let me know in the comments below.
What is Customer Success?
In most companies, it is a department or a team. I would argue that it should be foundational in a company’s culture. Companies need to focus on providing products and services that solve critical business problems for their clientele. By doing so, they create a predictable revenue stream and install base that supports future growth.
In a quarterly executive meeting a decade or so ago, the head of the Support organization stated this team was the most important. The head of Engineering then stated that her team was the most important. I chimed in and stated, “Without Sales, nothing happens, but ultimately, if all teams are not focused on the same objective, like a tripod, then all teams will ultimately fail.” Our CEO agreed, and that was the end of the discussion.
You could also argue that Marketing and Services should be included, and I would agree, since it goes back to all teams being focused on a singular, overarching goal.
In a previous post about creating Customers for Life, I wrote about a tactical implementation to address customer churn, which is the byproduct of failure in one or more areas. This was a wake-up call for me, as we were very focused on the success of our largest accounts and most productive channel partners – totaling 70% of our revenue, but we took the other “less valuable” accounts for granted. The lesson learned was that 30% of $62M is a large number, and by applying the same techniques to those accounts, we increased organic growth while minimizing churn.
Why Customer Success Teams Struggle
- Lack of Ownership: They don’t own the accounts and often lack the motivation and accountability for each customer’s health and success.
- Stay Reactive: They are reactive rather than proactive advocates for customers.
- Lack of Resources: They are spread too thin and lack the capacity to actively engage with all but a few customers.
- Enter Too Late: They are not introduced early in the sales process, which is a great way to demonstrate commitment to the prospect’s success if they select you as a vendor.
- Stay Low in the Org Chart: They do not develop relationships beyond a small operational team, limiting executive visibility and expansion potential.
- Ad Hoc in Nature: They lack formal processes, including detailed documentation, that help ensure consistency and continuity over time.
How to Position Your Team for the Win
- SWOT: Review your strengths and weaknesses. Why do companies buy from you? (or, what are you really selling?) What are you known for? What do people like and appreciate? Where do you fall short? (opportunities for others) Accentuate the positive and focus on improvements where needed.
- We often received customer feedback that when they called our support team, their problem was solved on the initial call. With other vendors, it often took 2-3 people to reach someone knowledgeable who could help. We promoted this when selling and reinforced the importance of maintaining this positive image to our internal teams.
- We also received feedback that some of our technical features were lagging behind the competition, so my team and I helped identify the most critical features, then worked with Engineering to prioritize them and focus on bringing in new customers who needed them. It was a win-win.
- Be Proactive: It is often possible to anticipate problems or make improvements based on your understanding of the customer and their history. Being part of the solution means that you don’t wait for the next problem to engage.
- When I had my consulting company, we provided managed services for several large companies. We had proprietary monitoring tools that reported conditions that often led to outages if left unchecked. We addressed the issue and informed the customer once it was resolved. Our monthly summary report listed the likely outages avoided, the average duration of similar outages, and the cost avoided (based on the hourly cost of downtime). Key people saw our value at least monthly, so when it came time to renew our service, the process was fast and painless.
- Become the Internal Liaison: The customer success team should serve as the main conduit for information. Introduce your Services or Engineering teams to the customer early. This doesn’t just solve problems; it uncovers new opportunities to provide value (and sell additional services) that position the customer for even greater success. Engagement and a sense of partnership go a long way.
- I will often introduce the Services team when problems or needs arise. Their expertise and insights can be very valuable, often leading to services that position the customer for even greater success.
- Go Above and Beyond: People remember that. Teams begin to rely on you. And Executives begin to see your company and products as critical to their success. This creates long-term value for your company.
- Focus on the Future: Ask your customers, “How can we help with your upcoming initiatives and projects?” This is a great way to learn what they will be working on, to show your interest in their success, and to identify how your company and products can help them achieve it.
These are things that have been very successful for me when I was leading two large global regions, when I was a top Account Executive at a company with a small customer success team, and as a Consultant. I set expectations, led by example, and they began doing much more of what I expected from the customer success team. We started seeing improvements in the first 30 days.
While leadership doesn’t have to come from designated leaders, cultural changes usually require the commitment, involvement, and support of the organization’s top executives. Everyone can make a positive impact on a company’s direction and success.
When the customer wins and views you as a key partner, you don’t have to worry about churn.
Where Ideas, Experiences, and Lessons Learned Intersect 